Journey

So I am writing the next part of my story. Gaahh! Some may say that delivery by C-section is as easy as 1,2,3. But hell no! It is just as terribly painful as the normal delivery, but the pain comes after surgery. Just imagine being bed-ridden for 3 days, you can't even move because the suture site hurts a lot, no solids for 2 days, and the mere fact that a urinary catheter is attached to you. I had to move very slow, and the coughing part was very much excruciating. Good thing I am, or I was once a Respiratory Therapist, i know how to cough by putting pressure on my abdomen using a  pillow. But still, it was so yayay. What was even more painful with our situation was I could not see my newborn baby since she was not allowed to go out of the nursery. Because of the meconium stain, she was given antibiotics for 7 days and was isolated in the nursery to minimize infection. I still could not mobilize myself so I could go to the nursery to have a conscious glimpse of her, and to start breastfeeding asap. My hubby would only take pics of her in the nursery and show it to me. 

But my mother instincts suddenly pushed myself to move around  so I could sit into the wheelchair and embrace my baby at the nursery. I did it after 1 day and 15 hours post surgery.

Seeing her for the first time when I was not already drugged with anesthesia was Love at first sight. There was that first feeling that she was a total stranger to me,and i thought to myself  "Is this really my baby?". It was a mixture of emotions I could not describe. I could just sit there at the nursery all day staring at her, at this angel that God has given us. Wow! We could not believe that we were capable of making a lovely baby. She is truly a God-given blessing.

The nurse taught me the basics of breastfeeding since I was a first time mom. My milk did not came in yet, but the nurse advised me to just let my baby suck in order to stimulate milk production. She had a good suck after like an hour of brushing her cheeks to stimulate her to suck. I got exhausted already after almost 2 hours at the nursery, I had to go back to my room so I could rest. I told hubby that it was hard for me to visit her at the nursery just to breastfeed since my wound was not healed yet. Hubby was so worried he could not bond with our baby too since he was leaving in 5 days. So we asked Doc Jun, our pediatrician if we could take our baby to the room so we could take care of her ourselves. Since Doc made a strict decision not to bring her home unless the antibiotics were finished. He agreed, we were so excited to bring our baby to the room already. Everyone was enthusiastic to see her upclose, the proud lolo and lola, my brothers, and my pamangkins. There goes the "sinong kamuhka, kanino nagmana" stories already, and we inspected every single body part. It was a once-in-a-lifetime happy experience. 

 It was just so sad that we had to experience our "firsts" in the hospital. first nappy change, first bath, since we had to stay 7 days there for her antibiotics. It was for her health. What was more sad was the thought of hubby leaving in 5 days. But everything has to happen that way, the brighter side of the story was our baby was perfectly healthy amidst what happened to her inside my tummy. I was also fine after the C-section. We could not ask for more. This is only the beginning of my journey as a mother, and our journey as parents.

Born this way..

40 weeks of pregnancy. The long wait finally ended. I thought i would be giving birth earlier than my due date. I also thought i would give birth via normal delivery. But it was not what we expected. January 8 at 6pm, the first symptom that lead us rushing to the hospital surprisingly came, my mucous plug fell of. Me and hubby got excited and nervous at the same time. PAno ba naman, ever since he arrived for the holidays thinking i would give birth earlier, all we did was search on google about symptoms and signs that our baby is coming out na. But what made my doctor decide to admit me was because of the fluid leak which i thought was just normal but i doubted because it had an odor that smelled like balut. So at the ER 8pm, i was already 1cm dilated. But still  no labor pains I still ate chowking meal Tonn bought me and some Naicha. After eating I was brought to the labor room and there I waited for my cervix to dilate, while monitoring my baby's heart rate since she was tachycardic at times. The time spent at the labor room was exhausting. No one to talk to, just lying on the uncomfy hospital bed while having labor pains that were tolerable, waiting for me to reach a 10cm dilatation, and waiting for the other pregnant women there for their time  to give that big push. 8am the next day, it was the feast of the Black Nazarene,  after the IE, there was no improvement so my doctor decided that if at 1pm there was no dilatation, she has to induce labor to speed up opening of my cervix.  So at 1pm meds were given to induce labor. Oh my Lord!!! Ito pala ang true labor pain??!!! My gulay, di ma describe ang sakit. Maryosep! Halos ma twist ko na ang hand rail ng bed. Contractions came in in a 20 mins interval, tapos naging 10 minutes pero it was not regular. Going to the comfort room to urinate was a burden with no one para umalalay. At 7pm, 2cm dilated. Then i noticed i kept leaking fluid sa bed, it was brown. I was nervous because i thought it was meconium. At 10pm, my doctor Aunti Minda Uy came back to check on me, she had to burst my water bag so as to check if the fluid was meconium stained, and that if it was, i had to undergo C-section ASAP. And she confirmed it. There was already meconium on my amniotic fluid and it was a possible danger to the baby if she swallowed it. I cried. Because i expected for a normal delivery, one that you read in books where you get to experience pano umiri tapos they hand you your baby with her umbilical cord uncut. During that very moment, i thought of why i still had to undergo 10 hours of labor only to end up being sliced. But then during that 10 hours of labor, i just prayed and surrendered everything to the Lord. Sabi ko, sya na bahala kung normal or CS as long as my baby was in a good condition. Gusto ko that time matapos na agad, i was talking to my baby sabi ko labas ka na, super sakit na. Well there was my answer.
 I was rushed to the operating room at 11pm. General anesthesia was given thru my spinal cord. My anesthesiologist was good, I did not feel her inject that big needle. I only felt that first injection which felt like skin testing. Then she was asking me if i felt the part she was touching, and if i could move my legs. Haha, that was a funny feeling. Super groggy pero i could not move my lower extremeties, Just my arms, which were cuffed. Sometimes I was awake, I knew they were putting in my catheter, I felt cold so i told my anesthesiologist na nilalamig ako, and that the nasal cannula was uncomfortable para ako nasasakal. Then I heard also when Doc Minda said "kaya pala tachycardic kasi na cord coil na". I also felt they were pushing my tummy para lumabas si baby. But I could vividly remember hearing her first cry when she went out. 11:55pm of January 9 2012.  I cried. Then after a while Doc Jun brought me to her and saying it's a baby girl showing my my baby's vagina which i could also blurredly see, tapos he took pictures of me and my baby.

 Kaya pala my cervix did not dilate, because baby could hardly move with her umbilical cord wrapped on her neck. And that was also the reason why she has a faster heart rate. It could threaten both our lives if  i was not  admitted earlier. But then the Lord did not fail us, He did what was best. And we are very thankful for giving us this beautiful angel, Raeyela Czarein Zuzon Lim.